To Lie or Not to Lie

I can't stand white lies...black lies...purple...whatever the color (or degree), I simply can't stand a lie.  And although I am far from perfect and can be accused of many things, telling a blatant lie is not one of them. 

Because of this, I seem to have a talent spotting lies, in particular, the white variety.

Some may think telling a white lie is beneficial, easier or necessary...especially in those uncomfortable cases where a friend may ask, "Do I look fat?"  I doubt this "friend" is waiting for you to respond, "Yes, actually you are a bit fat." Rather they hope to hear, "Absolutely not!  You are as thin as a rail! Are you feeling okay?!"

I was grateful when my BYU room mates made a pact. In this "alliance" we all committed to keep one another from gaining the FRESHMAN FIVE (that is when you head off to college and get fat).  If one started to look a bit "chunky" or the question was asked, "Do I look fat?" the others were obligated to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth.

I will not say whether any of us gained any added pounds, I can say 20 years later we are all still the BEST of friends. I respect them. I love them!

Another fun experience with telling the truth occurred while I worked at Nordstrom years ago. I was in the swim department.  Multiple times, clients would ask me, "Does this swimsuit make me look fat?"

I wanted to say, "No, actually it is your fat that makes you look fat."  I resisted and would honestly say, "Why don't we try this one. It really makes one look quite skinny!" 

See no lies.  Ironically, I had people come back for me again and again, asking me to help them pick out the perfect "slimming" outfit!

Is it better to straight out tell the white lie or to go to the other extreme and risk hurting a "feeler" or two  by telling complete truths (why yes, dear friend, your outfit really is rather ugly)?  Or should we simply be honest without breaking hearts, spirits or digging ourselves into deeper holes?

A definition of a white lie states,

"White lies are minor lies which could be considered to be harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term. White lies are also considered to be used for greater good. A common version of a white lie is to tell only part of the truth, therefore not be suspected of lying, yet also conceal something else, in order to avoid awkward questions."

And although, "minor" lies are sometimes used for the "greater good," lies, they remain.
I have had a child or two or three or four or five...fall prey to the white lie(s).  To me, it is completely obvious when he (or she...let's be fair) is fibbing.  For example, when I ask who found the THREE boxes of  hidden Pop tarts AND EATEN them ALL (every single pack) and the reply from each member of the household is, "Not me," I know something is amiss, especially when they have a bit of chocolate smeared on the corner of their mouth (I never said I was a genius).

I quickly rule out the two children who are still innocent of such behavior.  I know they are pure from such thievery due to the calls I receive each time they want a snack (or ask if I am home).  I received such a phone call just the other day from just a child, "Mom, can I have microwaveable popcorn?"  Even when struck with hunger past the dinner hour, I have been called, "Mom, can I have a bowl of cereal...I am so very hungry."

The other three children, do not ask for snacks.  And they are NOT required to ask... actually, no one is required in our home to ask for a snack...those snacks of the healthier variety (fruit, vegis, popcorn, pretzels, yogurt, goldfish).  When I do have the more coveted snacks such as Doritos, Fruit Roll-ups, candy, hmmm...POP TARTS...they are required to ask.

The mystery comes when no one has asked for the special snack and yet it disappears.
Weird eh?!

Sommer and I held a little experiment last week.  I told her I would buy a tempting snack, hide it and not tell anyone I had purchased it. I bet her it would be discovered within one day...eaten and the best part, THE PACKAGING (or blasted leftover trash) WOULD REMAIN.

Purchased snack item was found and eaten within a day (with box still in hiding place).

Lame eh?!  The least he/she could do is throw away the trash!!
The best part always comes when I gather the children and simply ask who has eaten the snack.

White lie, white lie and white lie...every time.

Whether the statement is, "Mom, I had no idea we had that item!" or "I only had one!"...the lies start trickling in.

And it bothers me.

White lies can turn into bigger lies. Bigger lies will most likely turn into the inability for others to truly trust you. And when others cannot trust you, unhappiness will surely follow. Not only will the person who lies be unhappy, all of those around him/her will as well.

It is always better to tell the truth. 

I would love one of my "Pop-tart Bandits" to simply say, "Why yes Mom, I did take the Pop-Tart.  How wonderful it was! In fact, it was so wonderful, I ate every single one...and then I threw the trash away!"

And then, a few months later, I would hear, "Mom. Do I look fat?!" To which I would reply, "Why let's have a carrot stick, my dear child. In fact, let's eat all of them!"

Thank You...again

Yesterday my husband went in for his umpteenth surgery in hopes of finally "fixing" what we like to refer to as a botched attempt at repairing a hernia (this hernia was caused by another surgery he had two years ago in an attempt to fix a small intestine problem which would require a week long hospital stay a few times a year).

After switching doctors, we finally found Dr. Suh, a plastic surgeon, who was ready to fix his stomach and everything else that had been oozing for the past year (YES!  A year!).  Another doctor was called into replaced every infected suture from his previous operation in October as well as fix three different new hernias!

Whew!

So what I thought was going to be a hour long surgery, ended up being a whopping four hour ordeal.  As I sat in the waiting room, I quickly realized I was going to have to orchestrate the rest of my day via my blessed smart phone.

Within minutes, I had piano lessons canceled and rescheduled, friends offering rides for my children and dinner offers.  My in-laws stepped in, committing to help where needed.  Friends and family phoned to check on Garth and even me! 

There I sat, in that huge spacious and very crowded waiting room, alone, but not really.  I knew my family was taken care of and Garth was in good hands. 

We have high hopes he will be able to come home tomorrow from the hospital...with his new tummy....complete with pig skin and no belly button (he has already been called "pork belly")...well aint he special?!

Thank you.

The Way I Have Lost Weight

(after piano lessons, I will find a few pictures to post!)


Like many of you, I am not naturally thin. I have to work on staying my current weight.  I remember reading somewhere, years ago, that in order to maintain a certain weight (after losing), you need to stay that weight for at least 3 months. After that time, it becomes easier to maintain.

Through the years, I have indeed gained weight while serving an 18 month Mormon Mission in Denmark (think chocolate, pastry and people that loved to feed us), being pregnant with 5 children, enjoying eating out way too much and getting older.  I have been up and I have been down.

I never like when someone says to me, "This is just the weight I am destined to be...my hips have grown, I have tried and nothing works"...and although they try to sound okay with their current weight, I can tell they aren't happy with it.

I remember when my good friend Angie, shared a quote with me, "Food never tastes as good as skinny feels."  It is true. There is nothing better than feeling fit and fitting your jeans.

After having my last baby and getting the final pounds off, I committed to stay that weight.  I gave all of my bigger clothes away and was aware when I started creeping up the scale and did something about it. I didn't have to weigh myself daily...I simply knew when my jeans were getting a bit tight, it was time to make a change.  I then took charge of the situation by exercising a little longer and eating a little less.  It really doesn't take long to drop a few pounds. In fact, it is just as easy to lose a couple of pounds as it is to gain...it just might not be as fun!

Over the years, I have dabbled in many of the "fad" diets.  And although, I may have lost a few quick pounds, I have never ever kept it off.  Instead, I came up with my own "diet" plans and they worked for me.

I thought I would share my top three plans that have helped me lose weight through the years.

Each of my plans require the following:

First, tell someone you are changing your eating/exercise habits. Second, you must exercise!  And third, drink a ton of water!

THE SUBWAY DIET:

After my third child was born, I gained a whopping 50 pounds! Yikes, I was fat.  Between baby, baby carrying innards and natural loss of weight, after 6 weeks I still had 20 pounds of pure chunk.  With three little ones under 5, I had little time to eat right and a lot of time to eat wrong! 

I decided that Monday-Friday, I would pick up a foot long turkey sub. I would eat half of it for lunch and leave the second half as my snack throughout the afternoon.  By dinner, I wasn't very hungry and was able to be satisfied with a light meal.

I pushed my double jogger with two kids and my 5 year old would ride her bike along side us.

It didn't take long to #1 get sick of Subway and to lose weight!

THE EAT WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY DIET:

This diet is completely explained in the title, "Eat when you are hungry."  Monday-Friday, I would not eat until I actually felt hungry.  It was great if I could delay my meals a few hours each day in order to make it through without too much snacking.  This way of eating made me aware of my eating habits and ability to listen to my body...when I was actually hungry and when I simply "thought" I was hungry.

I always had a big glass of water before I ate too! 

At this point, I had two children that could ride their bikes and I only had to push one in the single jogger (must easier). 

The MARATHON DIET:

After baby number 4, I had a friend share with me she had signed up for a marathon.  I had always been a runner but had never thought I was marathon material.  With a baby 3 months old and a desire to run more and weigh less, I signed up! 

This diet rocked!  I could eat pretty much what I wanted and still lost weight!  It required a willing husband to help with the four children so I could run and run and run.  Not only did I lose weight, I enjoyed the small amount of  free time I had away from "little kid chaos.

All three of these "diets" taught be portion control, will power and determination.  I not only lost weight, I gained a love of marathoning!

Notice that I usually ate good Monday-Friday. I allowed myself to have a little fun on the weekends! 

Since trying out my little diet ideas, I have maintained the same weight for 8 years.  It has really worked!  And I love the fact my level of frustration with my weight is not an issue (because I surely have plenty of other issues I have to worry about)!

Make it a Great Week or Not. The Choice is Yours!

 (Garth taking a leap into a perfectly great day in Hawaii in 2011)

I have had some truly bad days in my life but in reality, I have simply had more bad moments in a perfectly good day.

We are each given the same sun that rises, bringing light to our day.  Not one of us worries as evening turns to night if the sun will rise...for we know with a surety that indeed it will be back, day after day, month after month, year after year.  A perfectly bright new day is given to you and to me.

As each of us travel along our various paths, we will encounter dark patches, frustration, even darkness that can easily seem as though our "sun" has set early on our day.  It is easy to allow these bad moments to trick us into believing life is "bad."

How I love the popular T-shirts, "Life is Good."  I remember when I first spotted them years ago at some store I can't recall.  I quickly purchased one for Garth and it didn't take long before we both had a  collection of hats, shirts and other various items depicting a stick figure doing simple everyday things with the words, "Life is Good."

It isn't difficult to stop for a moment and reflect upon the blessings in one's life.  Even in the midst of a bad moment, one bad enough, with power to turn a perfectly good day into something bad, can be halted, if we stop and take the time to remember that "Life truly is Good."

We each have the power within ourselves to chose how we will feel, react and live when we are given difficulty.

Each morning at Bull Run Middle school after the morning announcements, this is said, "Make it a good day or not.  The choice is yours."

I love that.  It is up to me to take the bad moments in my day that may darken the sun that rose earlier, and keep it shining down.

Tonight, and every night, why not take the bad moments of the day and let them go down with the sun? And as it rises once again in the morning, begin anew, with the resolve to remember the good. Do all in your power to have it conquer the bad moments that surely will come and keep the shine in your soul.

The rain will fall.  But the sun is still shining. You just can't see it.  And although a bit dark and dreary does the day become, we know the grass will be greener tomorrow.

"Make it a GREAT week or not. The choice is YOURS!"

I am going running tomorrow!

Boston Fun

As you read a few days ago, the actual running portion of my Boston trip was absolutely wonderful.  But even more fun was had the days before and after the BIG race. 

While sitting awaiting my flight for Boston, I looked up to see my good ol' friend Frank standing above me.  What a thrill to catch up with him on our flight up to the race.  Parting ways at the airport, we planned a stop, the following morning, at the traditional breakfast of champions, The Paramount. I am a complete fan of their blueberry pancakes (and I don't even like pancakes) and it is an absolute must eat breakfast each time we go to Boston (look at that line to get in)! It was such fun to be with both Frank and his daughter, Katie.

I enjoyed my morning run as I followed my GPS in search of the restaurant from my hotel by the Wharf.  Following the yummy breakfast, I made my way back...up...Beacon Hill to my hotel.  It was finally late enough for the single ladies of our hotel room, Lauren and JenN to awake (in my opinion) and I flung open the drapes upon entering the room (come on...it was 10!).  They were less than thrilled with my actions but we did have an appointment with everyone at the Expo and they complied and got up.

We began our walk through town and enjoyed some of the wonderful sights of Boston:

After our casual stroll, we met up (a little late) with our group of friends.

And then we all headed into the famous Boston Marathon Expo (packed) where we picked up plenty of goodies to help us remember the big race.

Later that night, I was craving Boloco (a Mexican Restuarant) and was forced to take a taxi into the city to find one.  As I was making my way to the restuarant, I was chatting on the phone with Linda when I came across the finish line...believe it or not...there was Linda, chatting with me.

We took a quick picture and then Greg, Linda and I walked back to our hotels, enjoying the evening (and I of course did have my burrito).

Later that night, JenN and I were in dire need of a treat, which took us to Funeuil Hall.  It was there we found the perfectly overpriced treat...ice cream.  We took some time to watch the street performers, enjoy the shops and simply hang out.

The day after the race, everyone left quite early.  I had planned on spending the day with one of my BYU buddies, Sara!  We hadn't seen each other for some 20 years (except for a few brief hugs at mile 3 each year where she cheered us on).

We spent the lovely afternoon together with her four darling children in Boston Commons.  There we rode the swan boats, had lunch and watched the children play in the park.  We both commented on how neither of us had done too much changing...maybe a few wrinkles...but the same old college girls.

It truly was a fantastically fun trip! 

The Amazing Race

For me, the 2012, Boston Marathon was truly amazing.  I was blessed to experience it in a whole new way and with an entirely different perspective...all due to my broken sacrum.

I never in a million years would have volunteered to be a spectator of the sport I love.  I never would have chosen to "sit a race out" that I had so diligently trained.  But I did (in part).  And what I received from accepting my inability to run 26.2 miles was ten fold greater than actually running it.

I am grateful, truly grateful for loving guidance from friends, loved ones...even above, that allowed me the opportunity to witness an Amazing Race.

It all began the day before as friends began to arrive.  Excitement filled the air as race day strategies were discussed, outfits planned, warm weather was enjoyed, and runners mingled together at the 2012 Boston expo.

(BethAnn, Me, Linda, JenN, Lauren, Katie and Vanessa)

The media was a buzz with news of record high heat forecasted for race day.  Multiple emails went out encouraging runners to take it slow, hydrate, and to be extra careful.  By the end of the day, a unprecedented offer was given to all runners, the choice to defer until next year!  I actually had been given a free opportunity to run in 2013...due to the heat that was expected.  What a miracle!

After giving my broken bone its first trial run since the accident, the day before the race, and feeling pain, I decided the race was not an option.  I was going to most definitely defer and become a cheerleader for my dear friends that were racing.

The morning of the race, BethAnn and JenN had me braid their hair, outfits were put on (totally cute) and off to the buses they all headed to the athlete's village, 26 miles away.

I got ready to meet up with Frank, Katie, Bob, and Laura, where we would be taken to various points of the race to cheer our friends. 

(Me, Katie, Frank, Laura and Bob)

Stopping at mile 13.5, we quickly made our way to the street, waiting anxiously for the elite woman to pass.  It wasn't long before they came, looking completely exhausted due to the extreme heat.  The stragglers that had slowly fell back from the lead looked red faced and miserable with gaits to prove their struggles.

Twenty minutes later, the elite men came whizzing by, looking slightly better but slower than year's past.  It was shocking to see what heat could do to such amazingly fit runners.  Months of training, completely destroyed simply due to the elements.  It hit me how precious life can be.  How quickly the strong can be humbled and brought to their knees.  One day we may be strong and in the blink of an eye, made weak.

Within about an hour, runners from all over the world, both men and women, began approaching us. The crowds were cheering them on, I was cheering too, as some ran swiftly and others were staggering, forced to walk so quickly into this coveted race.

We began to search for the first of our friends.  It was a painstaking challenge to scan the hundreds of runners passing us, trying to spot one in a crowd of many.  But our search was not in vain as we found our friends and were able to hug their tired (and very sweaty) bodies before sending them onward.

My plan was to jump into the race with each of our friends, gather up information and run back to the group.  We would then drive to our next spectating spot (mile 22) and there give more encourgement and hugs.  When JenN, John and BethAnn passed, I ran along and along...and before I knew it I was much too far to turn back.  I decided to stay.

And that is when it truly became an Amazing Race. 

Running with BethAnn, my dear friend who has a brain tumor and fights her battle with courage and tenacity, was a delight.  Not a complaint was uttered. As other runners around us suffered, she was the one I saw encouraging them onward.  A smile, a determination unlike any other, she ran forward, step by step, to her goal...to the finish line, of yet another marathon victory.  She finishes strong in each race and she finishes strong each day, fighting her battle with cancer AND fighting for others who are suffering with the disease raising awareness, raising money and raising hopes.

Running with Vanessa, my other close friend who suffered with breast cancer last year, only 7 months from her last chemo treatment, was incredible.  She caught up with us at mile 18 and BethAnn encouraged both JenN and I to run with her.  And although Vanessa was in her "zone" and was thinking she wanted to do this on her own, we snuck in behind and followed along for a mile or so before we joined her side.  Few words were spoken as the sun pounded down upon us, everyone exhausted from miles and miles of running.  Vanessa never stopped, completely focused on her goal of finishing her first Boston Marathon.  At one point she profoundly said, "Nothing is harder than cancer."  Both JenN and I, unable to completely understand, did though, feel the power of her words.  She too is a fighter and finished the race.

Linda ran for the Dana Farber Cancer Research Fund, raising money for those who suffer with the disease.  But what few know about Linda is she too suffered from breast cancer only two years ago.  Running over 10 marathons, she took on this record heat race with grace and a will to finish.  She did, raising over $5000 for the cause.

And I must not forget JenN, an amazingly fast runner who took this race as an opportunity to run with her dear friends.  She was the voice that encouraged the crowds to cheer on BethAnn and Vanessa.  She wore the bulky camera on her head to capture on film BethAnn's journey for young Katie, who suffers with brain cancer.  She was the epitome of friendship, support and love...the entire 26.2 miles.

I was given this opportunity to witness strength unmeasured, in three amazing women, each running their own amazing race.

(John, BethAnn, JenN, Lauren...who had better get her PR at Big SUR! and Me)

I had my own personal miracle that day too. The moment I joined them at mile 14, I have not had one single pain from my broken sacrum. Not during the race, after or today.

Simply amazing.

And if you want to check out my professional pics from the race go here

(more details/pictures about the entire Boston trip tomorrow!)

One Amazingly Healthy Sandwich...and brother.

In January, my brother Matt, shared his secret sandwich with me and now I share it with you.

Head to your nearest Subway and order this:

flat bread
ham
egg white
jalapeno cheese
spinach
lettuce
onion
cucumber
tomato
5 jalapeno peppers
olives
banana pepper
green pepper
dash of salt and pepper

I also add a thin line of lite mayo and my secret sauce, honey mustard (but be sure it's a small amount too).

And right now you can get this sandwich a FOOTLONG for $5...just be sure you substitute the bacon with ham.  And only eat 6 inches (share the other half with a friend or save it until dinner).

Seriously the best and healthiest sandwich out there (especially if you hold the sauce and cheese)!

You won't regret it, I promise!

 

Here is Matt racing the famous Mount Marathon in Alaska!  He is a top 5 finisher!