Shopped!

Wait...stop!  I am not talking about shop as in "shopping."  As much as I wish I were referring to one of my favorite activities...shopping...today I am talking about shop...as in saws, safety goggles, robots and computers.

Today was my first official day as a substitute teacher!  I survived.  But more importantly, I survived as a shop teacher (at this moment I am fist pumping into the air and/or giggling). My purpose at becoming a sub was mainly to help out in the music departments. After hearing countless times from my children when they had a sub in chorus, movies had to be watched, I jumped on the substitute wagon.

I had to laugh when they called me yesterday and asked me to be a substitute for he school's math specialist..  I had to be honest with them and explain if they wanted their "money's worth" they may want to place me somewhere else.  Quickly the person on the other line said, well, how do you feel about shop? 

And that was how it happened.

My biggest obstacle was finding the "right" outfit.  Should I wear overalls?  Carry a tool belt?  Was I going to be provided a lab coat (seriously cool)? And would I be sporting those ugly and quite over sized plastic goggles?

I decided to leave the overalls at home and go with the cute, "I don't know what I am doing...please help" outfit.  And it totally worked. No sense trying to "look the part" when there was no way I could "act the part." I went with the plan...the totally honest plan, that states, "I have really no idea what I am doing."  Not only were the other two shop teachers very helpful but man alive there were some pretty with it students that saved the day! 

The first student who came in, said, "You don't look anything like Mr. Post."  She then proceeded to tell me he was bald.  Thank goodness we didn't look alike.

Another student told me she wished I could be her real teacher because I was so pretty.  I loved that self esteem builder.

But the best part of all was the complete respect I received after I announced these simple words at the beginning of class, "I am sure some of you may know my two sons, Calvin and Ethan Porter. I am their mother."

And just like that, they loved me.  Thanks boys. And so it's official, I am a sub.

Are You Really Sick?

I have learned from my oldest son that your children will "fake" being sick.  This happened a few years ago on a Sunday morning when we were getting ready to go to church.

"I am sick," he moaned with the best sick voice I have ever heard.  I asked him what was wrong which he quickly replied (with the ever so difficult symptom to prove and yet so effective), "My stomach, it really hurts."

So we let him stay home that day. This mysterious illness came back each Sunday for the next two weeks until I pulled my "softy and ever so trusting" husband aside and said, "That boy of yours is totally faking it."

And after we called his bluff, it never happened again. 

The other children, after seeing their brother with a bit of success through the years, too have attempted the "I am sick" routine.  I am a total proponent of letting my kids stay home from school/church every now and again, even if they aren't sick (just in need of a little break) but let's be sure we are honest about our intentions.

I quickly nipped the "I am pretending I am sick" performance in the butt when I instilled the simple rule:

If you stay home from school due to illness, you WILL NOT play with your friends that day.

It worked like a charm.

But the past two weeks have thrown me for a loop.  You see, there really is a stomach bug going around our elementary school.  Tate caught it a few weeks ago.  He woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach ache followed by a release of the day's intake.  There was no question he was really sick.  He missed school, followed by a long 3 day weekend.  He didn't throw up again but he did complain of stomach pain. He then started with a nasty cough. By Tuesday, his cough was gone but the stomach ache was still lingering. So I let him stay home.  Then Wednesday came and went...home yet again.  Thursday...home. Friday with complaints of stomach pain, I sent him anyway...I mean, we aren't perfect, right?! 

Within 15 minutes of the bell ringing in the new school day, I had a call from the school nurse (I will forgo letting you know how long it took before I saw she had called...oops), letting me know Tate wasn't feeling well.

I came and picked him up.

The weekend came and went.

Monday I informed him that no matter what, he was going to school!  He asked me to drive him. I did. Upon opening the car door, he cried, "My tummy hurts."  I had already written a note to his teacher asking her to give him free reign of the toilet. He had to eventually go to school right?!

I walked him in, spoke with the nurse...who explained to Tate, "There is a difference between being sick and not feeling well (his symptoms fell under the second explanation).  Now let's stop worrying about all this stomach stuff and go to class." 

With much hesitation, he went with Nurse Swingle and HAPPY DAY, he made it through the entire day!

Today however he did not.  He started crying about his stomach again. I called the doctor who then told me that indeed a virus was going around and recommended he go on the BRAT diet (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast).  She said he could go to school.  Tate didn't agree. He begged me to let him stay home. 

So being the super nice mother that I am (yeah right), we marched over to the grocery store and purchased all of the above items. I told him he would only be eating these items.  He would get ONE MORE DAY and then this charade (I really think his tummy does hurt but how bad I question) would be over.

I ask myself, "Are you Really Sick?"

And I answer that question with a resounding, "YES! I am sick...sick of kids that are just barely sick.  That fine line where I need to hire a secret agent to determine if they are faking it or really need to stay home with me where I can mother them back to health."

Wish me luck. I do have 4 other healthy children that may or may not be sick in the coming days :)

Why? Because There May Be a Mouse Under Your Bed

Saturday morning I sat the entire family down and explained what was going to happen.  Instantly there were faces filled with fear, mouths suddenly dropped open and then it began...the moans and groans...followed by the complaining "why!?"

No, they were not being sent to an orphanage (yet).

They were going to clean their rooms. Yep, that's it.

I am embarrassed to admit that I had let the room cleaning slide a bit the past year.  Because of my lack of enforcement, closets were stacked high with old shoes, small clothes, toys from yonder year, dirty underwear, clean underwear, candy wrappers, old candy, dirt, grime, dust (and that is just the closets).

Drawers were stuffed with summer clothes, winter clothes, spring clothes, my clothes (yes I found a pair of my jeans in Tate's drawer) and everything else imaginable.

Their rooms were so dusty that even the walls had their own layer.  The ceilings looked like we had decorated for Halloween with cobwebs dangling in a spook-like fashion from the corners. 

And then there was what was lying beneath their beds.  Books were strewn here and there with trash mingled in between.  Dust! Oh the dust...coughing spells came quickly followed by gagging from breathing in the year of dust that had settled ever so comfortably under the beds. Missing electronic games, iPods, loose change, you name it...it was under there!

But under one bed, the one with only a few books, a couple lone socks, a wrapper or two, and plenty of cat and dog hair (that is where the animals hang out)...there was a suspicious "toy."  As I was just about to place my fingers around "it" to scoot it out with the other objects, I stopped.  It hit me...that is a MOUSE!  I quickly told Sommer (it was her room after all) I thought there was a dead mouse under her bed. She rolled her eyes and calmly said, "Mom, it is probably just one of the cat's toys."

I replied, "Well, you grab it then."

Moments later, as Sommer crawled under the bed to grab the "toy mouse" a shriek (a total mouse shriek), was heard throughout our house.  "IT'S A DEAD MOUSE!" she cried!

Her brother, Calvin was called in to remove the object of our nighmares.  He then proceeded to do what any brother would...place the mouse in front of all of our faces...thus causing more shrieks to ring out.

And then, after we all had settled down, I looked at my darling children...for they had all gathered to see what all of the fuss was about and said,

"Children, dearest children, this is the answer to your earlier question as to why we should clean our rooms in a proper and timely manner. There just may be a dead mouse (or other disgusting item) rotting under your bed."

And after six hours, beds re-bunked, rooms switched around and organized from top to bottom,they are clean...

for now.

A Little Change Goes a LONG Way!

"If you always do, what you have always done, you will always get, what you have always gotten."

If you want to get fit (or fitter than you are now or even fitter than you have ever been), you have to make some changes! Even small changes make a difference. 

Walk a little longer. Run a little faster. Lift a little more often. Eat a little less (especially candy).

Notice it ONLY takes a little change to make a big difference. A great analogy is to think of a gear. A very small cog can turn a very large wheel.  Simple as that.  Little cog, big wheel turns.  Just think what your "little cog" can be and start moving your wheel!

I know that everyone can make little changes (even you).

Since we are all at different stages in our fitness and we all have different goals, whether those goals are to lose weight, run our first 5k, eat more healthy, begin walking, build muscle...change is a must.

This year I decided I wanted to improve my marathon time. And as comfortable (and fun) it was to run a nice easy pace while chatting with my friends...I wasn't getting any faster. There was NO way I was going to give up my runs with my dear friends so I decided to make a little change in order to reach my goal.

My plan:

1. When running solo, I had to run faster. It didn't matter what the distance, I just had to run a little faster. Anything under 5 miles, required a 7:30 pace. Anything over that mileage, required a sub 8:00 pace. The pace wasn't always spot on but it was faster...and a change.

2. When running with a friend, pace didn't matter. I ran with the goal to enjoy my time with them.

This allowed me to not only improve my pace in the long run (and to reach my goal) but also kept me running with my friends (something I cherish).

So...
It's time to get fit.

Your checklist:

1. Choose an activity that YOU love (or can live with)...not everyone likes to run. Most likely you will keep doing something you love to do.

2. Be realistic. If you have never run before don't make the goal to run 5 miles everyday for the next 10 years. Start by telling yourself, you will run 5 minutes, 5 times a week (and walk the other 25 minutes). Each week increase your running time by 1-2 minutes. In just a few months, you will be running the entire 30 minutes. Don't tell yourself that you will never eat chocolate again (impossible). Why not make a small change such as only one chocolate treat per day (the size of that treat would be up to you).

Last night I found my "little cog" after thinking about my daunting 17 mile run I had to do today.  I texted my friend Ann (who has been sick for a few weeks...I have missed you girl) and asked if I could run to her house.  After the 10 mile solo trek, I reached her house were I was able to take a quick break, filling my water, have a snack AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...take her with me for my final 7 miles!

This little change helped carry me a LONG way....17 miles to be exact!

Must...Stop...Eating... Candy...

I love the idea of lent...giving up something, especially something you may or may not be addicted to (have I mentioned candy?) showing your commitment of bettering oneself.  I am so impressed with those cute piano students who year after year, come to lessons during lent, letting me know they cannot have one of my little candy treats because they have chosen to give up sweets...you guys ROCK! 

But the reality for me, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon as we are more commonly known), we give up quite a bit already.  I feel like we are observing this practice each and every day. And as I chose to forgo certain things with a happy and willing heart (alcohol, smoking, tea, coffee, my two day weekend, etc), I don't honestly know if could let candy go too. I mean, sugar is rather harmless isn't it?!

I hate to admit it but I think it now has become a problem. And it all begins in my closet.  I have a huge Rubbermaid container, overflowing with bags and bags of M&M's, Hershey Kisses, Dove candy bars, Kit Kat's, Swedish Fish...and so much more.  I get most of it for free so I find it quite difficult to not take these delightful sweets off the shelves when the price is so right!

This free and unlimited candy supply has been in existence for many years.  But it has never been a real temptation for me.  Until recently...

Each night, after a stressful and very long day filled with avoiding household chores, lunch dates with friends, long runs in the warm spring like air, a few music lessons with darling students...I need (really need) a treat.

Or at least that is what I tell myself.

And because I know treats are easily accessible and taste so good AND seem so harmless AND make me so happy, I have been eating candy...lots of candy.

I believe when something "can't" be stopped, it should most definitely be stopped...immediately! 

And there lies the problem. I can't.  I won't.  It just seems pointless to simply not eat it for 40 days and then on day 41, go crazy and make up for lost time by stuffing my face with chocolate.

That is why I have come up with my plan B.  This grand idea comes from my dear friend Vanessa (and healthy eater extronanaire). Instead of completely saying no to all sweets (and knowing good and well that I will never stop eating candy), why not simply cut back?!  In honor of lent, I have decided to make a change...something that I hope will last much longer than 40 days...and will change me for the better.

I have taken all of my candy out of my bedroom.  I have purchased small snack size baggies and in those bags have placed realistic sized porportions.

I truly believe in the wise council, moderation in all things.  Too much or too little of anything rarely generates long lasting benefits.

I  really think this is going to work (I will let you know)! 

P.S...if you want some candy, stop by!

I Just Want to be "Whelmed."

Don't you just crave those moments when you are simply "whelmed?"


I woke up this morning and saw yet another huge pile of laundry, dishes to be done, furniture completely dustified...even the walls with their own layer, kids expecting to eat (come on people...didn't you just do that yesterday?!), appointments to be made, appointments to be kept, kids in, kids out, rides and more rides, homework, etc.


My brain quickly went to its "overwhelmed" mode, which connects directly to the place that initiates the "mean psycho mother" switch.  It is in this mode that the heart beats a bit faster, palms begin to sweat, pupils dilate and any creature (the children do seem a bit like creatures when I am in this stage) that happens to cross my path will be considered the "enemy."


What exactly does it mean to be overwhelmed?

o·ver·whelm

   /ˌoʊvərˈʰwɛlm, -ˈwɛlm/ Show Spelled[oh-ver-hwelm, -welm] 

to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything

Found on the other side of this coin is the "underwhelmed" mode.  This feeling of boredom sometimes comes when a person has nothing to do except tend to a baby, change a diaper and fix a couple of sandwiches.  You may only have the TV to keep you company (which does get old quick). No one is calling (yet), the house is spotless (just you wait), no doorbells are ringing-one after the other asking for play dates (that too will come), no homework, no projects, not much of anything happens on a given day!

This phenomena known as being underwhelmed is hard too.  I have been there so many times.  In this mode, life can get a bit mundane.  You wonder if you will ever have "me" time or "we" time (that precious time with your husband WITHOUT the kids).  You dream about a shirt without spit up, a book read in its entirty, a potty trained child...those days that seem to never end and aren't really that exciting.

un·der·whelm

un·der·whelm

   /ˌʌndərˈʰwɛlm, -ˈwɛlm/ Show Spelled[uhn-der-hwelm, -welm] 

verb

to fail to interest or astonish

I think we all "want" big!  We want the perfect husband, the big house, the adorable kids, the fancy cars, the unlimited outfits, the fluffy puppy, the snuggly kitty...we want and want and soon we fall into the "overwhelmed" trap.

After spending so much of our time and energy capturing our wants we find out some interesting things:

1. Husband aren't perfect

2. Big houses requiring lots of cleaning and maintenance

3.  Adorable kids are loud and require food and clothing

4.  Cars get old and stinky real fast (and big ones guzzle gas)

5. The more clothes you have the more wash (and storage needed)

6.  Puppies turn into dogs (and both poop on the carpet)

7.  Cats shed like crazy and sometimes go pee pee in places other than their litter boxes

And just like that, the overwhelmed mode on your brain begins...creating a very unpleasant wife, mother and friend.

I really think I just want to be whelmed....

...to find joy and happiness with the the moment.  A messy house can wait,  fallen down shutter can too! My oldest child, now a sophomore in high school, who was my little baby girl so long ago (and a time of my life that I may have thought underwhelming...how wrong I was) will soon be gone.  I long for a little underwhelming in my life.

Whatever life moment you are currently living...just live it. Sometimes you will be a bit "over" and other times you will be a little bit "under."

The goal is to enjoy it all, living in the moments and simply be "whelmed."

Enjoy the View

Calvin and I headed to Wisp for the day, joining three other families for a day of skiing fun!  I have come to realize with my children, when I join them in the activities they love, the view is quite amazing.

Whether we are playing a game of Monopoly, a bike ride around the block, a walk in the forest, or skiing on top of a mountain...I can't beat the view. 

I tend to fall in the trap created by my busy life, whether it be the never ending cleaning list, weekend activites, etc, that can really impede my view.  And although these things must be done, sometimes they can wait just a bit, giving everyone a new view.

I easily forget that my children are actually little adults.  Through them, a mundane day, can turn into quite the adventure, creating wondeful memories for all of us!

When our friends mentioned their trip to Wisp, (a 3 hour drive away), Calvin immediately begged me to take him.  Since Garth had to work, I was the chosen parent.  As much as I wanted to hang with Calvin...and all of our dear friends...I wasn't thrilled about the time and money associated with a day of driving and skiing. 

Last minute, I decided to ignore the adult "thinking" and simply take advantage of this opportunity to be with Calvin for the day.

And I am so glad I did.  It was a blast hanging with my little "mini me," who loves go, go, going. We had great converstation (usually I only get a grunt), a gorgeous day  and a view set into my memory I can't beat!

Thanks Calvin (Hunter and Hansen Families too) for helping me enjoy the view!