A Spicy Tale

It happened about two years ago, the little boys were sound asleep and the older children were together with dad in the basement watching a movie.  Although it was a bit late, it still seemed like a perfect night to put together our favorite spicy salsa (thanks Cris), open a fresh bag of chips and munch away.

I began to chop the onions which immediately caused my eyes to tear.  Wiping my eyes a few times, I moved to the spicy (and most favorite ingredient in the recipe) peppers. My eyes continued to burn from the fresh juicy onions. Without thinking, I took my hand and casually wiped my eyes.  It didn't take but a moment to realize I had just added insult to injury, combining the already onion filled eyes to the new enemy, HOT CHILI PEPPERS!

I ran to the sink in an attempt to flush out the painful juices that invaded my eyes, causing redness not only in my eyes but around my eyes...I truly looked and felt like a hot mess.

That was when I heard the doorbell ring...at 9:00 pm!

I quickly thought, "Who could be at our door at this late hour?"

I hesitated for a moment, hoping someone else would answer but I realized everyone else was in the basement.

I opened the door and was surprised to see a policeman.

"Everything okay ma'am?" he asked.

I quickly said, "Of course.  We are just fine."

But he looked at me with concern, adverting his eyes behind my door and asked again, "Are you sure?"

It was then I remembered my sad state.  Eyes almost swollen shut, tears streaming down my cheeks...a KNIFE in my hand!

HE THINKS THIS IS A DOMESTIC CALL AND MY HUSBAND IS MOST LIKELY HIDING BEHIND THE DOOR WITH HIS FINGER TRACING A LINE ACROSS HIS NECK THREATENING TO SLICE MINE IF I "SAY A WORD."

Well, obviously this wasn't the case.

He then said, "Did someone in your house called 9-1-1?"

Seriously?  I am thinking...I have only older, more responsible children up...who, what, why?

I then said to the officer, "You see, I have been making fresh salsa. I cut some onions, wiped my eyes with peppers which caused a series of unfortunate events...no cause for alarm.  Let me run downstairs and see if there is a chance one of my kids gave you a ring."

I wave him in and say, "I will be right back."

As I turned away, I am totally freaking out.  I quickly get down the stairs and whisper loudly, "Did one of you call 9-1-1!!!!?"

They all turn and look at me, mainly my eyes and say, "HOLY MOLY Mom! What happened to YOU?!"

And then the little BIG 12 year old culprit confesses, "Um, I did. But I hung right up!"

We both marched upstairs to the policeman.  I reply to the cop, "I found the criminal...go ahead and cuff him!"

Actually, he gives this child a little lecture on calling when there is NO emergency and that indeed, calling 9-1-1 actually works.

I have him apologize for taking the police officers time.

By then, my eyes have cleared.

It is finally time to eat our special salsa.  Not only was the salsa out of this world and spiced to perfection but it came with its very own spicy tale...which will live on through generations.